question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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