Don't you send me to vm
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
