grandma shit on top of the toilet
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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