and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
