My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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