It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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