i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Found the puke drawer
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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