yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
