new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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