Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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