did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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