how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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