hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
