Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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