So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
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Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
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i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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