Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
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