Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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