So drunk, too bad you don't want this
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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