god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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