I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
