I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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