Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
