Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
bring money and cleavage
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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