At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
