If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
