Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
