Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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