Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I party with great urgency now.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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