I wish I could punch you in the face.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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