My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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