im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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