Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
