Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
