ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
the condom got lost in my hair
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
So many bounce houses so little time
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
