Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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