Cold hands, warm shart.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize