There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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