What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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