did you get engaged???
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
