My friends, they love my intelligence
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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