just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
