just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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