didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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