I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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