like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
