I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
