you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
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