my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
