called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
