Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
