It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
