But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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