I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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