So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
