I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
