I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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