After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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