in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
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